In a heated moment, Darius bends Coco backwards over the table and begins fumbling with zippers and buttons, knocking over a chair in the process.
"Darius! Wait! My great-grandmother's harvest table!"
"No worries, babe. They made 'em strong in those days."
As Darius pushes up Coco's sweater and begins to pull down her pants, all thoughts of the family heirloom they're about to defile flit from her mind.
"Oh God! Yes! YES!"
"Oh, Darius! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
To be continued . . .